For many years of my life, I felt like God’s favorite. I felt like I walked in the favor of God. He was my best friend. We prayed together. We worshipped together. We served together. And I saw so much fruit of our time together manifested in tangible ways in my life. Then a torrent of pain, loss, and grief swept over me. I couldn’t seem to catch a break, just trying to keep my head above it all. So many times, I felt like my friend had forgotten me. I didn’t feel favored, and I didn’t feel loved. I felt forgotten. All my words were gone. My prayers weren’t easy. My worship was broken. My service was a sacrifice. I had to lean on our history and what I knew of His character. I had to cling to His words.
The waters have quieted as of late. The tidal wave left some marks, but I can finally catch my breath. The sun is shining, and I’m starting to see some new growth springing up. A sweet new harvest in the making. I’ve been too busy to write because the goodness of God has been coming at me fast. I feel His smile again and it feels good.
I realize that His favor never left. His love never waned. It didn’t wash away with the current of hardship. I just couldn’t always feel it, because the hurt was overpowering my senses. It has reminded me how important it is to stand on His Word when everything around us is shifting. To live by faith even when we don’t feel it.
Oh, but how glorious it is when we do feel it. In those seasons…embrace it, drink it in, bath in it, thoroughly enjoy it. May we all feel like God’s favorite today.
*pic of the best birthday cupcakes ever